I’ve been in the drinking game for a long time, and one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made is forgetting to eat a good meal.
Before you go party, you should eat something light but hearty. It needs to be light because, hello, you’re going to be in the tightest dress you own in a couple hours, but hearty because, hello, you’re going to be drinking a shit ton.
So for example, tonight I have a big event I’m going to at 9:30pm. It’s an open bar, with my boss, co-workers, and peers. I need to keep my shit on lock all night, while also drinking as much free shit as possible, while also not crying as I shimmy in and out of my Spanx.
Here’s what I do:
1. I eat super early. It’s 5:30 and I’m already done, early bird Seinfeld’s parents style. This gives my bod enough time to digest things so I’m not hating myself while I get ready. Getting ready is half the fun, and you have to love yourself while you get ready! You have to be listening to your favorite hip-hop and practicing sexy pop-lock-drops! There is no time for self-loathing, so eliminate it from the beginning.
2. Eat a lean, clean meat. I like a baked chicken breast seasoned with salt and pepper and marinated in lemon juice. It’s delicious but there’s no weird carbs or anything that are going to bloat you. If you’re a vegetarian, well, figure it out, but still, you have to eat something substantial.
3. Eat a non-bloating veggie. Asparagus, green beans, carrots, mushrooms and zucchini are delicious, give you that nutritional value, and also don’t make your abdomen look twice the size that it is.
Spoken from a true professional, you will seriously be thanking yourself later when you’re not belligerent and begging your friends to take you to Taco Bell at 2am.