I'm Marissa. I write and drink wine.
I have no qualifications to write about drinking wine,
aside from the fact I do it all the time.


I’ve spent this week exclusively Ross Testing Emergen-C, pomegranate & orange juices, Cold Calm, Gaia Quick Defense, Delsym, DayQuil and NyQuil.

We will return to our regularly scheduled drinking as soon as my health allows.

In the mean time, WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?

Mifflores Rioja Viura

Mifflores Rioja Viura 
Price: $10.99
Retailer: Whole Foods

Nothing makes me feel like an old white lady more than watering my plants and drinking white wine, which is basically my favorite thing to do in the afternoons when it’s sunny (all year round). And this white wine’s bottle basically looks like how I’d like my garden to look so it’s pretty much perfect, aside from the fact that I don’t really like it all that much. I mean… it’s fine. I bought it, it’s drinkable, but I mean… it’s fine.

I bought this wine because I bought the Tempernillo and loved it so much I kept opening it with friends without reviewing it, and didn’t want to risk not reviewing it again. But now I wish I’d just bought the Tempernillo again and watered my plants with red wine instead.

The wine is fine, and it is organic, so points to Mifflores Rijoia. More points for the bottle and fonts though. Not to say I’m not drinking this. I am drinking it. Like I said, it’s fine. 

To be honest, I just have so much other shit going on right now, I don’t care what it tastes like. For example, today the garbage disposal suddenly backed up, and I forgot the dishwasher was connected to the kitchen sink so I started the dishwasher and then went to see if our bathroom sink was also backed up because it kind of was recently. So I started taking apart the plumbing and then I went back in the kitchen and the sink was overflowing and I had to use a big bowl to get the water out like a sinking ship and then I had to fix the bathroom sink. But I fixed the bathroom sink!


Tasting Notes:  Fruity and plush with a good amount of acidity, but it doesn’t feel quite balanced. The consistency reminds me of an old school California Chardonnay, it’s not buttery but it has that same texture. Whatever. I’m drinking it. All of it. I SMELL LIKE WATER TRASH. KILL ME.

Ross Test: Too acidic, not recommended.


Anonymous asked

My girlfriends and I are going to Napa in May. You blogged that you were going to Napa...what wineries would you recommend? Anything you can suggest would be grrreat (said in Tony the Tiger's voice)!

Darioush and Scribe are my favorites. Darioush looks like it’s going to be an insane Persian palace from the outside, but the inside is really warm and the staff is super friendly. Their Cab Franc and their other label, Duel, are my absolute favorite wines ever.

Scribe is owned and ran by these two hot brothers and their hot team of people who are all waiting to be in some sort of Fleet Foxes band. They’re all like farm to table or whatever but for wine. It’s basically a Portlandia skit waiting to happen, but the wine is incredible. I brought home six bottles when I went. Oops.

If you can make it to Coppola, definitely do. It’s outside Napa by a-ways, but it’s like a vineyard resort. You can play boce ball and go swimming, the restaurant there is really good, and the whole place is basically a Coppola museum for his movies. I spent like six hours there. Check out Tasting in The Dark. It’s the best wine tasting experience I’ve ever had. You spend about two hours blindfolded and you learn all about deciphering different scents and flavors in wines. 

I still owe you guys a post on all my Napa adventures. Woof. One day.

B Side 2012 Cabernet Sauvignon

B Side 2012 Cabernet Sauvignon
Price: $24
Retailer: Ralph’s 

My Mondays tend to feel like Fridays in the sense that I am super exhausted. Generally I spend a third of my weekend writing/working, a third doing house bullshit I can’t wait to be able to pay someone to do for me one day, and a third socializing. That leaves very little time for chilling the fuck out on my couch in sweats with a nice Cabernet and some Martin Denny on the ole phonograph.

But that is what Monday night is for. Coming home after a long day and weekend, putting on some weird, poly-blend, silky trouser-sweats that are three sizes too big that your boss wanted to throw away but you were like NOPE I CAN CHILL IN THOSE, and enjoying a very large glass of very red wine. 

Especially such a fine red wine like this B Side.

I want to float in a shallow pool of its warmth and splendor in a tiny bikini for all of eternity. Despite currently looking like a monster on my couch, my insides feel drunk and beautiful poolside on a perfectly ninety-five degree Palm Springs day. WHICH IS THE ONLY WAY I WANT TO FEEL FOREVER. THIS IS HEAVEN. ALL WARM LOVE SUBSTANCE. THIS IS WHAT RUST COHLE WAS TALKING ABOUT WHEN HE WAS IN THE WHEELCHAIR OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL, DUDE.

Alright. Alright. Alright. I may be taking some extreme liberties there, but for real I would not be at all bummed if this is what the afterlife feels like.

Tasting Notes: This wine is delicious, and tastes a lot like how seeing a super handsome man in really expensive suits feels. It’s a little overpowering, but in a really good way. It’s almost too much to handle, but then he’s also so smooth. You can’t help but drink it all in. Such a lovely, juicy, full-bodied, bold man of a Cab. Ugh. I love him. Blackberries, tobacco, a little bit of toast. Yum. Let’s wake up together. 

Ross Test: It’s a lot like when a guy kisses you and then immediately picks you up by the ass and pushes you against the wall and you’re like “WHOA WHOA WHOA GUY. A LITTLE FAST… BUT… but yeah okay this is chill.” So, what I’m saying is, DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT.

Recreational Review: Coppola Director’s Cut Pinot Noir

DISCLAIMER: Recreational Reviews are recreational, and generally unprofessional and usually irresponsible.
Marissa does not condone or encourage her readers to engage in similar debauched behavior.

The Coppola Director’s Cut Pinot Noir is really quite perfect for pairing with painkillers and spending all your money on ASOS and Etsy. I’M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD DO THESE THINGS. I’m just saying I’m doing these things.
And it is fucking awesome.

This wine is crazy smooth and straightforward with big vibrant flavors, while maintaining the lightness that makes Pinot so easy to drink. So easy to drink that I drank the whole bottle. And I genuinely wish there was another bottle here for me to open right now. I seriously would… have like twenty minutes ago. And would probably nearly finished it by now. I loved that wine.

[Looks longingly out the window for her true love. Elvis’ “Harbor Lights”, or some French standard you’ve heard a thousand times in movies you can’t think of right now, drifts on the wind from the farmer’s market below.]

Sigh. C’est la vie.

Anyway, I’m out of wine and I’m starting to itch because that is what happens when Vicodin begins to wear off, but hey! I do have a new pair of palm tree trousers coming my way that I do not feel guilty about spending too much money on AT ALL because I DRANK A BOTTLE OF WINE! 


The Stages of Tropical Passion Fruit Moscato

For my birthday, one of my best friends Meredith made me this awesome gift basket that I drunkenly, and disappointingly, tore apart before I took a photo of. One of the many tropical themed items in aforementioned basket aside from my sick pineapple top, was a bottle of Tropical Passion Fruit Moscato. 

I do not like Moscato.

That does not mean I did not drink the Moscato.

Here are the many stages of the Tropical Passion Fruit Moscato:


Happy Spring!

Today was the first day of spring, which means it’s time for you to bust out your favorite white wine and the Corkcicle, one of the most essential tools in the wine game, especially for the warmer months. The Corkcicle keeps whites cold and cools down too hot reds, keeping a balanced temperature for sipping all through spring and summer. Big ups to the homie Dittbenners for hooking me up with this awesome hostess gift!  I don’t know how I lived without it!

Learn more/grab your own Classic Corkcicle here! 

And while you’re there, check out the Corkcicle One, one of the top wine accessories on my Wine Wish List. It basically combines the classic Corkcicle with one of my other favorite wine accessories, the Vinturi, with a dope-ass spout!

Francis Coppola Diamond Collection Pinot Noir
Price: ~ $20
Retailer: Really anywhere, but I grabbed this at Whole Foods

Mindy Kaling and I review this Coppola Pinot Noir while dressed as the characters from Sideways, and Mindy has some serious concerns about the Ross Test. Best viewed in 720p HD.

Check out more episodes of Wine Time here!

Cinematography by Antoin Huynh
Music by Monster Rally

Watch more Wine Time episodes at Wine-AllTheTime.com!

Cheap Date: Estancia Cabernet Sauvignon & Trader Joe’s New Zealand Cheddar

Look at these sweethearts. Ugh, they’re so good together it almost makes me sick. It’s like, “UGH, STOP BEING SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.”

Despite being quite silky and easy to swallow, Estancia Cab Sauv is a bold little bitch. You love her, but she can also get a little sassy sometimes. But it’s cool because she brought her boyfriend, New Zealand Cheddar. New Zealand Cheddar comes in all smooth and sharp, makes a couple good jokes and balances everything out again. Everyone laughs while they look into each other’s eyes all in love and shit and you’re like, “OK OK WE GET IT YOU’RE A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. JESUS. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR CRAZY YIN-YANG LOVE SHIT. Jk I love you, let’s hang out forever because you guys are the best.”

And it only cost $14.09 at Trader Joe’s for all this romance!

Tasting Notes

Estancia Cabernet Sauvignon: Chocolate-covered cherries on the bouquet and dense dark fruits on the palate. The real win for this wine, for me, is how smooth it is for its >$10 price point. It’s so smooth and silky with a really supple finish. It tastes like a wine twice its price, and when you’re on a date, heyyy, THE MORE BANG [pelvic thrusts] 4 UR BUCK LOL AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?! 


Ross Test

Estancia Cabernet Sauvignon: 110%! I just chugged it multiple times. A fantastic wine to chug the shit out of. So smooth and delicious. Straight up adult juice. 

New Zealand Cheddar: You can’t, or rather, you shouldn’t chug cheese. But I did eat half a brick no problem.

Heirbloom Heritage Red Blend

Heirbloom Heritage Red Blend 2010
Price: $14ish
Retailer: Target

From time to time, I can be a bit superficial. I’m fine saying this, because I think we all have this tendency. It’s completely natural to be drawn to something that is simply aesthetically pleasing to us. We all love pretty things that catch our eye, like sparkly cocktail dresses or Chris Messina’s smile or big bloomed peonies, or especially red wines with big bloomed peonies on the label.

Judging a wine by its label is definitely not the most effective way to pick a wine, but sometimes you just can’t help it. Sometimes something is just so pretty, you can’t not have it. And that’s how I ended up drinking the Heirbloom Heritage. All because of the label, because the label is lovely.

I saw this wine while wandering around Target today trying to decide if I need or just WANT! new bath towels. It reminded me of one of my best friends, Kimberley. Her house is all warm yet clean all perfect out of Elle Decor; with dreamy white hues, distressed wood and big, fresh pink flowers all over. She also happens to be one of the most fun and lovely people I know, so of course, I was like, “Alllright, wine. I want to know you.”

Now listen. You can judge all you want on appearances and usually you’re wrong. But that’s what’s strange and delightful— this wine ended up tasting like a wine Kim would make. She loves lighter reds, and this has a very familiar feel to the Pinot Noirs and Beaujolais that I usually find on her table, but with a much longer finish. It just doesn’t want me to forget how fucking lovely it is, ya know?

Tasting Notes: Rich blackberries and oak on the bouquet that stays true through the palate, with just a hint of oak on the tongue.  It has a very light yet plush texture, and is super smooth. I love how I haven’t taken a sip in two minutes but I still have that in my mouth.

Hm. That doesn’t sound quite as classy as it should.

Ross Test: Total pass! Really nice! The finish is a bit more acidic out of the bottle than out of the glass, and it has a bit of whiskey burn on the throat, but still very enjoyable and recommended for swigs. Maybe not chugs, but definitely swigs.

Pro Tip: Eat Light but Hearty Before You Party

I’ve been in the drinking game for a long time, and one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made is forgetting to eat a good meal.

Before you go party, you should eat something light but hearty. It needs to be light because, hello, you’re going to be in the tightest dress you own in a couple hours, but hearty because, hello, you’re going to be drinking a shit ton. 

So for example, tonight I have a big event I’m going to at 9:30pm. It’s an open bar, with my boss, co-workers, and peers. I need to keep my shit on lock all night, while also drinking as much free shit as possible, while also not crying as I shimmy in and out of my Spanx.

Here’s what I do:

1. I eat super early. It’s 5:30 and I’m already done, early bird Seinfeld’s parents style. This gives my bod enough time to digest things so I’m not hating myself while I get ready. Getting ready is half the fun, and you have to love yourself while you get ready! You have to be listening to your favorite hip-hop and practicing sexy pop-lock-drops! There is no time for self-loathing, so eliminate it from the beginning.

2. Eat a lean, clean meat. I like a baked chicken breast seasoned with salt and pepper and marinated in lemon juice. It’s delicious but there’s no weird carbs or anything that are going to bloat you. If you’re a vegetarian, well, figure it out, but still, you have to eat something substantial. 

3. Eat a non-bloating veggie. Asparagus, green beans, carrots, mushrooms and zucchini are delicious, give you that nutritional value, and also don’t make your abdomen look twice the size that it is. 

Spoken from a true professional, you will seriously be thanking yourself later when you’re not belligerent and begging your friends to take you to Taco Bell at 2am. 

Roger d’Anoia Cava on Sale This Weekend!

Hey homies, just wanted to let you know about a super steal going on— the Roger d’Anoia Cava is on sale at Whole Foods this weekend for $5.99. It is prettttahhh, prettttahhh, PRETTAH good. Nice and dry, with a touch of sweet. It would be perfect for your mimosas this weekend, or just for drinking. Like, with your mouth. Whenever.

Editing a Wine Time for the first time in a billion years!

Part of me is like GAHHHHHHHHHH D:

And the other part of me is like, YOU GOT THIS*.


Force of Nature Paso Robles Cabernet 2012

Force of Nature Paso Robles Cabernet 2012
Price: ~ $20 (retail)
Retailer: IDK, I got it at a restaurant

Tonight, I am drinking the last glass of Force of Nature Cab from the bottle we got last night at dinner. There is this fantastic spot by my house in Echo Park called, coincidentally, The Park. I’ve been going there for years not only because of its proximity to my home (which is, like 2 seconds), but also because they have hands down one of the best meals possible on the east side and a fantastic wine selection. Every night of the week they have an awesome deal going on, although my favorite has to be Thursdays because that is the night in which you can get bottles of wine at 50% off. 

And thus, we picked up this bottle of Cab. 

If you’re wondering how in the world it lasted through a meal, please be advised that by the time I got to dinner, I had already filmed a Wine Time (surprise!) and had multiple Moscow Mules, so I could only have a couple glasses otherwise everyone would have disowned me. I woke up this morning in my jeans, which says a lot.

Anyway, I’m quite happy to have it now. I love left-overs, but rarely have any of the liquid variety. It’s pretty cool.  Especially when your left-overs taste just as good as they did when the waiter put them on your table. But actually kinda better because you’re makeup-less in sweats on your couch.

This wine is terribly good, so good in fact, that this is by far the slowest glass of wine I’ve ever sipped because I am so sad that there isn’t another three-fourths of a bottle waiting for me to devour. 

"Yes, The River Knows" is on as I savor this last drop, and that makes a lot of sense to me. Cause all I want to do is drown myself in this mystic heated wine. FOR REALSIES THO.

Tasting Notes: Delicious caramel and chocolate on the bouquet, legit smells like the best candy bar you’d ever eat. That is saying a lot since I traditionally only eat candy bars that prominently feature peanuts. Velvety on the palate, with classic Cab bold berries but still super smooth. One of the smoothest Cabernets I can ever recall. It almost has a Pinot quality to it because it’s light in its own way. Fantastic long finish. Great, great wine.

Ross Test: I didn’t get to! Sad! :<

raesdayoff asked

Hey! Just saw that you don't have a Costco card, but you can buy their alcohol ;) It's illegal for them to keep it members only because that would make it some sort of speakeasy or something. Anyways, drink on lady!