Sugar Pie 2009 Red Wine
Price: $5.99
Retailer: Trader Joe’s

I first noticed this bottle because the name “Sugar Pie” reminded me of one of my all time top favorite songs I like to pretend is about me: The Beatles’ “Honey Pie”.

(I have spent roughly 75% of my life dreaming of being a beautiful muse to a Beatle AKA dooming myself for failure.)

I picked the bottle up & read the back:
“Some things in life are just plain sweet: love notes, first kisses, unexpected gifts… your first sip of wine after a particularly challenging day.”

And I liked that. I liked it a lot because I have a vagina & am daydreamy. I then became hesitant as I read on though & the bottle described itself as sweet & mentioned its palate including chocolate & then I was like “UGH. I BETTER NOT HATE THIS.
I’M EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED.
PLEASE DO NOT HURT ME.”

Good news! WE’RE IN LOVE!

Mostly because she’s an easy screw.
Twist tops are the mini-skirt of the wine world.
EASY ACCESS.

But no, for real, the bouquet is like sticking your face into a pile of blackberries at Whole Foods. And it drinks very well. It is sweet, but not in a traditional “sweet” sense. Ya’all know how I feel about sweet wines & this does not make me feel like that at all. Although it is slightly sweet, it isn’t cloying like an annoying boyfriend or shitty desert wine. It is softly chocolate-y, but balanced with a nice hint of smoke.

I will definitely be buying this bottle again, especially for a ladies wine night so we can all love the label, love the wine & love getting drunk & crip walking in bras & bunny heads for strangers on Chat Roulette.

Yes, that shit happens.
THAT’S HOW WE DO!
[not “Dew” still x forever]

Tasting Notes: Rich, fruitful, medium body & light finish… delish!

Ross Test: It’s a little too rich to really love chugging it, especially when I enjoy drinking it so much. Feels like a waste.