La Ferme Julien Rosé
Price: $5.99
Retailer: Trader Joe’s

I don’t drink rosé all that often, probably because the only one I really love is the Sofia Rosé, which is only for special occasions or when I’m trying to impress people, not when I’m drinking alone in my dark living room watching a tiny Asian man work on my sink in the kitchen. But, the point is I realized I had not reviewed a rosé (that I can remember?) here yet & I saw this so here we are. I actually really bought it because there were only two left & I assumed that meant it must be really good…

Eh. It’s kinda good. It has to be very, very cold. I had it in the fridge for an hour & a half but that was not enough & I ended up sticking my whole glass in the freezer for fifteen. That seemingly did the trick.

The bouquet is filled with strawberries from your dad’s garden growing up, or I suppose it could just smell like the strawberries my dad grew growing up because I don’t know what your dad’s strawberries smell like or if he even grew strawberries. In that case, I will break it down for you: strawberries, damp suburban dirt & wet grass crunching under your bare feet.

This wine is really simple with a fruity palate. If I try really hard, I would say it’s mostly focused on strawberry— which, DUH after getting at the bouquet— but off the top of my tongue I would just say it’s plain fruity.

I would probably be enjoying this a lot more if it hadn’t gotten all fall on my ass this afternoon. If it was hot & I was just going at some serious day drinking. I’m not really feeling it right now, in the dark with dudes in my kitchen speaking some Asian language trying to fix my sink.

At the same time, I must not like this very much considering this is the first wine I’ve had all week. (I had a couple vodka sodas last night but that’s different.)

Thinking I won’t buy this again, will stick special occasions & Sofia.

Tasting Notes: I would say buy this if you’re drinking with a bunch of girls during some nice weather & it’s like the third bottle you drink cause then it would probably taste great. Also, very sweet finish. The bouquet was my favorite part.

Ross Test: UGHHHH I WAS NOT INTO IT. AT ALL. MORE LIKE GROSSÉ.